I have been
struggling to find a way to get into and stay into the Word for the past 8
months. Everything I've attempted has ended in failure. Studies have been
started in Hebrews, John, Zechariah, and Psalms- none of them to completion. I
barely get past the first chapter. It feels as though I'm in the fiction aisle
reading the backs of Sci-Fi novels looking for the one that will really give me
what I want. The story with the most "wow factor" is what I want.
Give me the good stuff. Show me something that will give me great stories to
tell to my friends. Reveal to me some great secret that's gone 2,000 years
without being discovered. Some great revelation waiting for a barely educated
wannabe theologian. Yeah, right.
Rewind to when I was
in Scripture on a daily basis. Man, things were great. I had a job I hated that
paid well, and a routine that I loved that paid well in other means. The job
was an 8-5 gig. Well, more like 8:30 to 4:45 most days. As soon as my alarm went
off at 6:00 in the morning, I was up and yearning for the wheels to start
spinning. In less than 10 minutes, I was going to be neck deep in God's Word! A
quick five minute shower. No time to waste, I'm almost to my desk! My desk was
amazing. It had everything I needed. ESV Study Bible, Strong's Concordance,
Bible Dictionary, internet- All the tools I need! My coffee, a necessary
compliment to my quiet time, was waiting patiently for me after my shower.
Being on such a routine, my coffee maker was on a timer. Finally. Showered,
dressed, and with coffee in hand, I'm sitting at my desk and ready for the
riches of Scripture.
God changed me
drastically during this time, and my routine was a tool he used to do so. My
strength at this time, a gift from above, was my routine and my love of
structure. Yeah, He changed me during this time, alright. That was a different
time, though. A time that is past that I've been attempting to hang on to. Like
the silver under Achan's tent (Joshua 7). Presently, much to my dismay, I don't
have a routine. That's okay, though. God will use this time to continue His
work on my heart. He will point out the obvious things I already know, and they
will bring fear and trembling to my heart as if I were hearing them for the
first time. His perfect patience, His lovingkindness, leads us to repentance.
Praise His name!
Now, I'm going to
try to start doing something a little different. Maybe it's the step He's been
showing me for the past 8 months that I've been too blinded by pride to see.
During my period of routine, I catered to that routine, to that strength.
Through one of my greatest gifts (fellowship and community) something else has
been revealed to me. Another strength I need to cater to, and I pray God is
glorified by my pursuit of this gift.
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ReplyDeleteI'm shortening and re-posting my comment...
ReplyDeleteWhen I was 16, and Tracy hardly knew me, I remember asking her, "I'm tired of doing quiet times. I'm supposed to like them, but I can't even sit down to do them. What do I do?" I specifically remember this conversation we had. She asked me what I had been doing, and I told her how I was reading the bible, reading out of a high school devotional book, and praying. She said, "Maybe you need to switch things up. You could get a new devotional book, or a Christian non-fiction book. You could find different ways to read the bible, start studying with a friend and then come back together to talk about it... Just like friendships grow and change, so should your walk with God." I stuck my high school devo book on the shelf, and got a new one, for adults. I started reading Streams in the Desert, a devo book, that was fantastic, and not for high schoolers. I started reading books about prayer, faith, etc. I think that it's awesome that you were so focused on scripture for so long, and so disciplined at it. But if we become comfortable in our walk, we start to lose the discipline and also the passion. Same with friendships I think. We can become routine with our friends, always having meetings and "working" or accomplishing tasks, but taking them for granted or missing actually connecting with them. And of course, same with God! In our routine with God, or our works for God, we might miss being in His presence, and deeply in His word. "I've read that before," I often think of scripture, but then I go and read it again anyways, and I learn more.
I've had issues staying the course as well in regards to reading consistently. I have read chapter one of so many books so many times. What book did you finally decide on?
ReplyDeleteEphesians is where I've ended up. The thing that's different for me is how I'm studying it. Pursuing the love of writing that God put in my heart, instead of studying the way I had been. Previously, I had been overcome with focusing on GK and HB word studies instead of just prayerfully pursuing the Spirit of God in His Word. I'm a KISS kind of guy (Keep it simple, stupid). Sometimes, I find that it's best for me to go back to the most simple way of doing something. Often, it's the most fruitful!
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