Friday, June 19, 2015

Eleven Years Later...

Today is my last day working at a company I have been with for nearly 11 years. That's a third of my life! Needless to say this seems quite surreal to me. On Monday, I'll be unemployed for the first time since I was 15. That does not startle me, what startles me is that I will not be working for Moviestop. This company has been really good to me over the years, and I'm grateful to God that he guided me to the path I've walked for a decade now. When I look back at how things started and how they progressed, I'm dumbfounded and awestruck at seeing the sovereign hand of God in action. His divine nature is plain to me, and I have no excuse not to see it and give him thanks and praise. Romans 1:20 reads, "For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse."

Throughout this time, I have been through the darkest of lows and brightest of highs. The full spectrum of human emotion has been touched. Overtime, I learned that the "dark is just a canvas for his grace and brightness." That's where God truly shines; when you feel like there's nothing left on earth that can fill that void. "It's like you're eating every day, but never really full." Make no mistake, there is something out there and he's there for you. All creeds, races, walks of life have the opportunity to hear his call. Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 12:9, "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." Can you imagine the freedom in that? The freedom in boasting in your weakness? When darkness comes, to know with absolute certainty that Jesus the Messiah will be there to comfort you is the highest form of freedom. July 4, 1776 has got nothing on that. James 1:2-4 has been a continuous reminder, "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

The last 11 years have not only seen a lot of change in my heart, but also in the world. In August of 2004 I was still living in Macon. George W Bush was still POTUS. The wars in Iraq and Afghanistan were at their hottest, with reports of the Battle of Fallujah leaving a mark on my mind. The term "IED" became a household term, as we heard about these terrible devices nearly by the day. In August of 2004, only 3 years removed from 9/11, the base the Statue of Liberty finally reopened to tourists. Fear continued to grip the nation, as we allowed laws to be passed that tightened the grip on personal liberty. This shaped my view of the government and showed me how weak a fearful nation can be. These decisions, made hastily in the face of fear, continue to leave a dark shadow on the US. Furthermore, Hurricane Katrina happened. The first black President was elected. The last eleven years have certainly left their mark in the history books.

When I started with this company the first iPhone had yet to be released. If Karl Marx so famously said, "religion is the opiate of the masses," what would he say about the smartphone plague? Entertainment to continue to numb your senses and refocus your attention is now with you everywhere and continuously updated.

The company moved me around a good bit. In 2007 I moved to Richmond, Virginia. I quickly fell in love with that city. I'm thankful for the people I met there and the friends I made. Two people in particular planted seeds in my heart that God eventually grew into something beautiful. I am humbled by the patience that God placed in their hearts. A patience, or forbearance, that was necessary in dealing with a jack-wagon like myself. A patience, or longsuffering, that was born out of love that came directly from the Holy Spirit that is poured directly into our hearts. To them I say "thank you." James ends his letter with this, "My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins." Soli Deo Gloria.

I then lived in Baltimore, Maryland for a year. Taken away from a place I had only just come to call home. This is where my weakness took hold of my life. I was foolish and continuously sought refuge in things that are not of God. I placed idols, if you will, in my heart before God. This can be anything; drink, food, work, entertainment. I was alone, hurting, and attempted to find solace in temporary devices.  I was so relieved when work took me back to Richmond for a year (where I continued to make mistakes), then it was off to Kennesaw, Georgia. Hurting more than ever, I found myself accepting an invitation to a church. I denied it a few times, thinking it wasn't for me. I was stubborn, but eventually listened to a few of the sermon podcasts. The word of God cut deep into my heart. Despite the fact that the friend who invited me was out of town, I had to go to this church that very Sunday.

The friends I made through this fellowship quickly became my brothers and sisters; teaching me, encouraging me, affirming me, edifying me. And to think that the church is actually a gathering of sinners who have recognized their need for a Savior. Our mutual need for a Savior has lined our lives up to an intersecting point at Vertical Life Church. Which I never would have heard of if it were not for the company moving me to Kennesaw. Scripture, prayer, and fellowship have been an immeasurable provision of grace in my life. Through these gifts I have learned that life is not about my personal satisfaction; the chief end of man is to glorify God. We are made righteous by pursuing His righteousness.

"And the effect of righteousness will be peace,
and the result of righteousness, quietness and trust forever." (Isaiah 32:17)

Thankfully, this pursuit of holiness never ends. I am shown new grace and mercy daily. "Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own" (Philippians 3:16). Through this confidence found in Christ alone, this day of transition will be set aside as a monument to all that He has done in my heart. Anxiousness has no place in my heart, for everything is lifted to God in prayer and supplication with thanksgiving (Philippians 3:6, paraphrased).

If you've made it this far through an out of control wall of text, know that you are in my prayers. Brothers and sisters, thank you. And if you have yet to begin your walk with Christ, I pray that He make Himself known to you. Let my story testify to the reality of God, his mercy, and salvation. His timing is perfect in all cases.

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice." (Phil 4:4)


1 comment:

  1. Thanks for sharing - I can't wait to see where God takes you next!

    "You light a lamp for me. The Lord, my God, lights up my darkness. In your strength I can crush an army; with my God I can scale any wall. God’s way is perfect. All the Lord’s promises prove true. He is a shield for all who look to him for protection. For who is God except the Lord? Who but our God is a solid rock? God arms me with strength, and he makes my way perfect." - Psalm 18:28-32

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